By Nazeem Hussain – Fear of a Brown Planet

We’ve been in this Edinburgh bubble for nearly a month. Everything is starting to feel familiar now, and when I walk down the street, I say hi to people as if we are long-standing neighbours. Though, I frequently confuse faces, so often, I’m actually just speaking to strangers. Nonetheless, Edinburgh is that sort of place – where it is acceptable to strike up a conversation with anyone, because it is mutually understood that it’s the Edinburgh Fringe, and that’s what people do. That’s what I’ve been doing anyway.

So what else. Hmmmmmm. Oh yeah! I had the worst gig of my life the other night at Late N Live. People warned me that Late n Live audiences are traditionally heckle-heavy, I’ve heard stories of comedians being booed off before even making it to the microphone stand. I made it to the mic stand, no one booed. But when I started speaking, about a dozen people starting yelling things out, including “RACIST!”

Naively, I attempted to deconstruct this heckle and expose it’s rationally bankrupt premise, but after half a sentence someone else called a woman in the front row a ‘MASSIVE C$&@’ and then it suddenly seemed obvious that this audience was from hell. Anyway, I got a few jokes out, then got the hell out of there. I got paid sixty pounds. Also, the crepe stall outside the venue gave me a free (sympathy) crepe afterwards. Owwwww yeah!

We’ve found an excellent pizza place too. Our flat now looks like a genuine bachelor pad with pizza boxes everywhere.

Aug 3-29 (not 15&22), Gilded Balloon Teviot, 7.15pm. Book here